agitation

The need to create something is so strong that if I don't start a serious project soon I'm going to implode.
Despite the torrential rains today, I managed to get outside for a little while and I wandered around.  I ended up buying some paints and a red board and I came back home, sat on my bedroom floor, and made this thing...

I don't really know what it is nor do I know if I'll hang it up.  The paint smell is lingering in my room and I think it's messing with my brain.

Some rainy day pics:

                                                         

sleep, you keep eluding me...

I am developing an addiction to green tea, specifically plum green tea and passionfruit green tea.  This week I drank lu cha almost every other day.  The bad thing is it keeps me wired for hours and it seems it's making it even more difficult for me to sleep, insomniac that I am.

Then there is the dog.  Everyone knows I love animals.  This dog is driving me insane.

Around midnight, every night without fail, the thing starts barking and continues for hours.  Earlier this week it started howling around 3 am and didn't stop until 5.  With bags under my eyes and disheveled hair, I've probably looked crazy to my students this week.

Speaking of my students, they really kept me entertained today.

I recently taught the youngest class what "lie" means and I even bought a book about a boy who tells a lie and imagines his lie turns into a green monster.  It was a little too metaphorical for them but after some hand gestures and stick figure drawings on the board (including one of T. Rhonda lying to her father when she was small), they understood.

Anyway, today one of  my younger kids named Roy blamed another kid for something.  One of my well behaved students, a  mostly quiet little boy named Joseph (he wears a set of glasses that sometimes look too big for his face) exclaimed "Teacher Rhonda, Roy is a lie!"

Of course he was trying to tell me Roy was lying about the other student.

My junior high classes the past two nights have also kept me entertained (though a little worn out).  Recently, my boss decided they should read an English-type magazine with Chinese translations on certain pages.  The magazine contains a lot of American pop-culture and idioms, which will be good for them if they ever study in the US.  Once a week I go over  an article with them and write definitions on the board for words they don't understand.  The article this week had to do with the history and meanings behind "The Kiss."

Of course, the kids protested loudly about having to read such an article but nevertheless, we had to do it.  I did feel a little uncomfortable, especially after some of the questions they asked.  The article mentioned the health benefits of kissing, slangs such as "kissing one's behind" (nice) "kiss of death," and kisses used in betrayal.  It even mentioned Judas's betrayal of Jesus with a kiss.

It was A LOT to talk about and I don't know if they understood half of it but they seemed to be more interested in this reading than last week's article about endangered big cats.

Some funny questions:

The article said that kissing brings stress levels down, lengthens one's life, and makes people healthier in general.  One girl raised her hand and said,

"But Teacher.  There was one girl in Taiwan who went to America and kissed a lot of boys and then came back to Taiwan and kissed a lot of boys and everyone said she was so dirty."

So I explained that lots of kissing is good between married people or boyfriends/girlfriends who really like eachother and it's not good to go around the world kissing everyone. *sigh* some of these questions throw me off guard!:)

In response to the article stating that there are many benefits (a word I had to define for them) to kissing, one of the older boys raised his hand and said,

"So if one boy wants to kiss you you will let he because it gives you benefits.  You will not do this..." he then raised his hand and made a slapping gesture.

I told him if a random boy tried to kiss me, I would indeed slap him.:)

The joys of teaching.

Though these children sometimes frustrate me and I don't know what I'm doing half the time, I will miss them when my contract is up.  They will probably look back at me as the teacher pretending to be a teacher, but hopefully they have some good memories.

Things I miss...thoughts on spoiled rotten people

Just finished scrawling some characters in my Chinese notebook so now I'm sitting here thinking about My Past Life in the states and what I miss. (Yes, I probably wrote about this before).

With the exception of my family and my few close friends, I miss nothing.  Aside from the occasional longing for a great slice of deep dish pizza.  Or a burrito.

I also miss (can I even remember what it feels like?) waking up next to someone I love.  Strong arms around me.  Somehow though, I think that was all a dream. An illusion.  Because as of yet I don't believe I've had  real love in the romantic sense.  And even though I miss something I've never really had, the truth is I'm ok without it.  Faith sustains me. 

I never got around to writing much about Thailand. 

When I was at the airport in Bangkok waiting for my plane to Chiang Mai, I did a little writing.  Here is an excerpt from what I wrote.

Musings from Bangkok

Day number three in Thailand.  Leaving Bangkok and heading for Chiang Mai.  Excited, but nervous.  Have had a wonderful time so far, wish my family could be here.  The shopping is wonderful and overwhelming.  The weekend marketplace was overflowing with vendors as far as the eyes could see.

One thing I wasn't expecting--the mass amount of foreigners here.  I knew Thailand was a tourist destination but I am shocked by how many bronzed bleached-blondes I am seeing.

While the deals here are amazing and prices can be haggled even lower, some things seem so wrong.  Take the Thai massage I had for 45 minutes.  It cost around 5 US dollars.  The girl worked so hard and it seemed unfair to charge such a low price.

Another thing I've noticed- the appalling sense of entitlement I'm seeing among the foreigners.  This also happens in Taiwan but I've really noticed it here.  At this airport, for example, there are many foreigners wearing touristy clothes and sunburns standing around looking impatient. Some of them drag along obnoxious children.  These children squawk around while the ignorant parents do nothing to stop them.  At my hotel in Bangkok there was a French couple who had demons for children.  Early in the morning the kids were running around the hotel shrieking and causing chaos in the lobby while mom and dad smiled and other relatives coddled them.

I can't help but wonder what the Thai's really think about foreigners.  When I visited Khao Sahn Road, the number of loud, drunken foreigners I ecountered was staggering.  I understand why people want to visit Thailand but I wonder how many of them view it as a blessing to be able to visit such a place, msyelf included.

Instead of being demanding and taking advantage of the country, we should be grateful we have the monetary means to visit such a breathaking place.  I wonder how many Thai's have had the opportunity to explore other countries.  I'm not sure many of them ever do, given the generally low wages here.

I'm going to try to keep reminding myself how lucky I am to be doing this right now.

wild boar and other things

I ate wild boar for the first time this weekend.  Though I'm seriously thinking about becoming a vegetarian again, the last few days I've been a complete carnivore.  I don't know what's come over me.  The boar was pretty tasty, couldn't tell it was in the pork family at all.

Had the wild pig at a very cool restaurant (old movies play customers eat) in a delightful little village called Neiwan, not too far from Hsinchu.  I went with my friend, who I've decided will remain nameless in this blog.  I'm not sure he is aware this exists but nevertheless I want to protect his identity.  Besides, there may come a point where I need to seriously vent my frustrations about the fun/complicated/confusing situation and he might not appreciate having his name on display in cyberspace. 

Neiwan has an interesting street lined with food vendors and random shops.  There is an oddities museum which houses such freaks of nature as a preserved two-headed pig and sheep, a hideous shrunken head, giant snakes, a male chastity belt, and many more bizarre objects.  Something I did not like about the museum--there was a beautiful LIVE white crow kept in a tiny, cramped cage.  The poor thing looked miserable and struggled to get out.  It broke my heart and I so want to go back in the middle of the night and let the creature free.

Mountains surround Neiwan and I saw signs for various hotspring resorts so I plan on going back again in the near future for a day (or night) of solitude and reflection.

On the train ride back home a young man (couldn't have been more than 30) fell over in what at first appeared to be a heart attack but might have been some kind of seizure-related disorder. It appeared he was gone for a moment.  His mother rushed to his side, the train stopped, and a kind-hearted stranger came over and administered CPR.  I have to say the experience scared me and made me once again realize how unpredictable and short life can be.  Thankfully the man came back.

Some pics from Neiwan:

 

  

  

 

 

                                                                
The weather today is cold and gloomy. It creates a lonely atmosphere. I've been brooding a lot the past few days.  I don't know exactly what's come over me but I feel like I'm at some drastic turning point in my life once more. I'm realizing some things which I will blog about at a later date.  I don't have the energy tonight.

Aside from that, my brother called me this morning and told me he's coming to Taiwan for sure in May.  I'm really excited.  I wonder if this place will leave him feeling as speechless as I felt when I first arrived.:)

the many hues of me...

Today as I was sitting with some of my kids teaching them knock knock jokes, one of them exclaimed, "Teacher!  Your eyes!  They are brown.  And green. And yellow. And black!  So many colors!"

Imagine if you will, about four or five children  scrambling forward and getting VERY close to my face trying to stare into teacher Rhonda's sleepy eyes.  It was pretty funny though.  They then moved to my hair, lifting up various pieces and pointing out that I have at least four different colors also streaking through my mane.  They made the biggest fuss about the "black" (which is really medium brown) hidden underneath my illusion of blonde.  The first time this class saw my roots coming through they freaked out.

Never a dull moment.  My multi-shaded eyes and hair match my life at present. :)

a few Thailand pics...

 

  

  

  

  

  

 

  

 

  

  

 

   

  

 

  

 

my journey to Thailand

I had a wonderful time in Thailand.  Though I didn't spend nearly enough time there; a week is not enough.  The two days I spent in Bangkok were interesting.  I will admit I was a little frazzled upon arrival because I was not aware that with some taxis the customer has to pay the tolls on the highways.  My driver was taking me to my hotel and after a frustrating language exchange he made it clear I was responsible for the tolls.  However, my discomfort ended soon after and I stayed at a nice place called Lamphu Tree Hotel.  The only problem with the place was the bratty French children running wild all over the lobby in the morning and their parents who showered them with doting smiles.  Throughout my stay in Thailand I witnessed similar scenes but with children and adults of different nationalities (nearly all of the people were white however).   I could write a whole blog on the spoiled way many of the foreigners behave over in Thailand but that may have to wait for another day-I did journal about it at one of the airports after observing people for awhile.

I didn't have the chance to see many of the sights around Bangkok but I did spend some time in the more famous bazaars.  I have to say I was overwhelmed.  Never in my life have I seen such a display of wonderful items for dirt-cheap prices.  I walked around dazed.  And a little guilty.  The Thai people displaying their wares have a sense of desperation hovering around them--I noticed it even more in Chiang Mai.  While haggling is popular (and I will admit to taking part in this a few times) it's almost pointless as everything is pretty inexpensive anyway.  When I realized how little money most Thai people make it was unsettling and I felt bad trying to lower prices further.  To give you an idea of how cheap things are-at my hotel in Chiang Mai I got a one hour Thai massage for about 6 US dollars.  That same massage would have cost more than 30 dollars in the states.  The cost of food and clothing is ridiculously cheap too.  Thailand would be a dreamworld in which to retire.  One could live like a king. 

The glimpses I saw of natural beauty in Thailand were heavenly.  I didn't get to the coast but I've already fallen in love with the forests near Chiang Mai.   The Elephant Conservation Center in Lampang was beautiful and I can't wait to return...there aren't enough words to describe what I felt there.  Fulfilling my dream of being up close and personal with elephants was an emotional, unforgettable experience.  The staff members at the center are devoted to the amazing animals and they went out of their way to make sure the participants in the program were comfortable.  At times I wondered what they really thought about us...did they view us as spoiled, filthy rich tourists?  Some of the staff members live in crumbling shacks in the jungle.  But they are happy.  They seem to be content in that world and I envy them in some ways.  While they may not make a lot of money, and the work can be quite trying at times, the luxury of the solitude and the magnificence of the natural beauty around them makes up for it. 

There were six of us all together participating in the program and I enjoyed meeting everyone in our group.  .  We got to choose our elephants...I was immediately drawn to one and I found out a little while later that she was destined to become the matriarch of the herd and was quite stubborn.  I loved her though.  She was also quite fond of turning on her side in the water (the director of the program warned me I'd probably fall off into the lake) but I held on like an octopus every time.:)

At the beginning of the program we learned fourteen elephant commands (in Thai of course) and practiced these commands before venturing out into the forests.  Our days were spent feeding, bathing, and trekking with the elephants (and learning random Thai from their mahouts).  One day we had lunch in the jungle and I helped cook.  The smoke made my eyes burn and tear (which gave the mahouts a good laugh) but it was really fun.  At the end of the day we'd leave our elephants in the forest (chained up so they couldn't run off in the night) and head back to the resort for dinner and relaxation in our private bungalows.  I used to get really sore in my horseback riding classes but the pain I felt then didn't come close to how sore my muscles were after riding my elephant for three days!  Yet, it was so worth it. :)  I did get sick one day but luckily it was gone by the third day.  On the final day we watched an elephant show on the main camp ground, visited the elephant hospital, and said goodbye to our elephants.  I was very sad to leave but I'm grateful I had the opportunity.  There is so much to tell but I'm not sure how to put it all into words other than to say that the whole time was magical and I'm left feeling a void now that I'm back here in Taiwan.  I don't understand this inexplicable sadness.

While I've said many times I'm quite fond of this little country I currently call home;  I felt more in tune with myself over in Thailand.  One of my friends mentioned that in my pictures I look healthy and it probably  had to do with the fact I was in my element.  Looking at my collection of pictures now I see how radiant I appear and I wonder if perhaps Thailand will be the next destination where I take up residence.


So stay in Taiwan a few more years and learn Chinese...or head to Thailand next year? 

For now, it's all too much to think about and I feel like going to bed.  I'll post pictures (or a link to pictures) of my Thailand trip soon.